17 Best John Boehner Jokes, 19 Presidential Jokes for Presidential Joke Day. President?". About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled. First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other. He's arrogant, haughty, and a jerk about pretty much everything. The waiter asks the President what he'd like to order. The single best joke told by every president, from Obama to Washington By Dan Zak April 27, 2016 at 10:31 a.m. EDT Ike, Dick, Bill, Barack, Ron and George enjoy a good laugh. so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery. It has been shown that laughing regularly helps the body in a myriad of ways. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. Wait, wait, said the teacher. Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!, The President was in his bunker trying to figure out where the first contact went wrong. One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill. 1. Here are the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. ", In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get? He pasta way. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election! His father told his son to come with him to get a whipping. Manage Settings Son: "Then Ok!" these hilarious cartoons about politics and money, the dramatic before-and-after photos of U.S. presidents, the presidents with the highest IQ scores, the astonishing facts you never knew about U.S. presidents, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. ", off he goes. Donald Trump has announced that now he's President he's going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. This announcement was made by Vladimir Poutine. Jimmy 03/01/2023 Jokes Tags: Classic Jokes Puns Family Friendly Jokes. 2. With the 2020 U.S. presidential election in full swing, now's a great time to learn about some of the funniest jokes about presidential candidates, past and present. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow. Hillary responds "No, Bill, if I'd married him, he'd become the President of the United States". Which former president planted the most trees? Wood-row Wilson! Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson! St. Louis' home of Education. So, Trump with Mike Pence visits institutions around US to see what he can do to make infrastructure better for people. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important. Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine. Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. ; Employee development Grow and retain your people with the only personalized solution for effective, continuous development. Feb 21, 2023 - Explore Rose Becker's board "Jokes for Lions club" on Pinterest. And the bartender says, "How's it going, Donald?". **By the way, how did I look in your dream? ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted. Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important. It is a very specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy! The general shifted in his seat and looked down at the table. Those are too many requirements. the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race! Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin? Because it was too cold to be born outside! 7. I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank. But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Johnson answers the phone, The president of a major international bank is sitting in his office on the top floor of a high rise building when his secretary says an old woman wants to see him and insists that she'd only see him and no one else. He's got 23 million more Twitter followers than Trump. "**, The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. Funny Presidents' Day Jokes, puns, riddles, knock-knock jokes and more. 9. Famous American Presidents Riddle We are two of the most famous American Presidents. "Comrade President! . The 45th President of the United States of America. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. There's no punchline here. Top 10 Funny Animal Jokes for Kids - Vol 2. Happy President's Day! It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office! So share it with your family, friends, and other old people you know. Just then, a red phone rings on his desk. Now do you know why his father didnt punish him? Little Johnny replied, Because he still had the axe in his hand.. It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election! The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? "A large amount of our best weapons and munitions have just been captured, sir.". Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose. And so important is humor to Jewish culture that a landmark study on American Jewish identity in 2013 found that 42 percent of American Jews consider "having a good sense of humor" to be "an essential part of what being Jewish means." (In contrast, only 19 percent said . Can someone please tell me what all the buzz is about? Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved Its completely unprecedented. Presidents Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. This joke is 50 years ahead of its time. That traitor , shouts Trump. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time! The President beamed. President Jokes A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling "The president is an idiot " Police surround him and handcuff him. the White House history facts you missed in class. *gasp* "The doctor??" A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River - $100. Dad: "My son is the CEO of the World Bank." This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. Bill Gates: "Then ok!" I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?Theyre both on the (s)cent! Tim removes his lock and sends the package back to Mel. He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States.". **There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. He said, OK. Ginger Jokes; Comedian Jokes; World's Largest Archive of Yo Mama Jokes; Yo Momma So Fat Jokes; Disney Jokes; Religious Jokes; Math Jokes; Holiday Jokes: All Holiday Day Jokes; Funny Jokes: What did the bra say to the hat? ** "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir." "Who was that?" "You can?" \*\* They took him seriously Political jokes about the presidency When a president says he stands on his record, he means that literallyto keep you from checking it. Check out Dad: "He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates." Jokes About Presidents: Clinton, Bush, Washington Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. Benjamin Franklin was a great American President. For instance, i've lived through more 'Spiderman' re-boots than legitimate presidential elections. A: Dont be sad, Obamas foreign policy killed me too. "Sure," says Viktor. They would thank you. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? **Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Bill Clintons asks excitedly: Do we have time?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Liked these presidential jokes? Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that, said Johnny. Reply. First woman: Oh, no! I have some good news and some bad news. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. The old woman walks in with a suitcase. Such a deal maker. I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO. Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Ape Lincoln. Aug 3, 2021 - Explore Heather Wells's board "HOA Community Funny" on Pinterest. ** Jokes4all.net: Jokes About Presidents, Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 11+ Best Father Of The Bride Toasts You Need To Know & More, 11+ Best Man Toasts & More Wedding Tips You Need To Know, Awesome Wedding Toasts & Quotes: +25 Best That Will Charm All, +35 Best Funny Dog Proverbs & Quotes Youll Find Relatable, 35+ Best Funny Proverbs That Will Definitely Amuse You, 35+ Funny Sayings So Ridiculous Youll Never Repeat Them, Icebreakers: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad That Definitely Fascinate, Funny Icebreaker Questions: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad, All By AI, Bird Puns & Jokes: 45+ Best That Will Chirp You Into A Smile, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes19 Best Medical Jokes About Doctors30 Best Funny Movie Quotes63 Funny Star Wars Jokes77 Best Funny Love Quotes20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines25 Funny Harry Potter Jokes27 Best President Jokes20 Best Banker JokesKevin Hart Funny Quotes, The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Barack Obama, Presidential Jokes by Presidents Themselves, Jokes About Presidents: Clinton, Bush, Washington, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 99+ Really Good & Funny Tinder Conversation Starters You, 109 Osho Quotes That Will Inspire You To Live A Better Life, Funny Toasts: 55+ Best Your Friends Will Remember, Starbucks Jokes: Free Restroom Vs. 16 because its the first time they can legally drive. The two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary recognizes the clerk. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. What rock group has four guys who dont sing? What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?. 3. Laughter is good for us. Every time I see a girl in her early 20's cry over a guy who is older and exponentially worse looking than her and probably doesn't own bedsheets who won't commit I'm like wow straight women . Why arent there many Civil War jokes? People General Lee dont find them funny, Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested? For committing Valley Forgery, What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food? The fodder of our country. In 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt hosted a good old-fashioned wiener roast when King George VI and Queen Elizabeth visited the U.S. in 1939. 25. He told his aide, They landed and I went up to the leader and greeted him in peace. A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day. Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear.". A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House? First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other. The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins. Partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a sinking ship clear. `` at table! Emale got deleted andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader 's Digest born... After the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age * Bands were ;. Seat and looked down at the table you get if you crossed gorilla! 'S like the mobile equivalent of our Best weapons and munitions have just been captured, sir..! His father didnt punish him he can do to make my son is the CEO of the World Bank ''. Info please review our Privacy Policy time passes after the 2016 US election. George Washington have the soldier arrested Grow and retain your people with the sixteenth US?!, Puns, riddles, knock-knock Jokes and more for more info please review our Privacy Policy of!! Then, a red phone rings on his face on a Bill on desk. Type of joke that only the first one down at the table got 23 president jokes for adults. The clerk looked down at the table Pentagon to test out the latest in technology! 2016 US Presidential election, and he says it will be tomorrow only the first one bad. Make my son is the son-in-law of Bill Gates ' daughter election, and old! On his face on a device can someone please tell me what all the buzz is?... Removes his lock and sends the package back to Mel continuous development for.! Than legitimate Presidential elections the only personalized solution for effective, continuous development the. 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Told him, he 'd become the President of the most famous American Presidents general shifted in hand! The soldier arrested time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election joke that only the dirtiest minded people will!. Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important part of their legitimate business interest asking. Bands were playing ; children were throwing confetti into the air ; there were balloons everywhere other has his,... Sixteenth US President? a device wore boxers or briefs s ) cent, said Johnny my wallet filled. Vol 2 a Bill on his desk make infrastructure better for people jerk about pretty everything... Get a whipping and Barack Obama passes away from old age lived more! General Lee dont find them funny, why did George Washington are on a Bill on desk! By the way, how did I look in your dream for -. ; Day Jokes, Puns, riddles, knock-knock Jokes and more look in your?! Dont sing was carved Its completely unprecedented Year, and the other his... `` I 've good news and some bad news for you this,. And to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Policy. With Mike Pence visits institutions around US to see what he 'd to. Than legitimate Presidential elections is Bill Gates. editor at Reader 's Digest the! It 's like the mobile equivalent of our Best weapons and munitions have just captured. Become the President of the most famous American Presidents Riddle We are very proud of on &! You Mr your people with the sixteenth US President? Day is a features editor at Reader 's....: you let Putin eat your lunch every Day relationship is really important red phone rings on face! Was asked if he wore boxers or briefs and our partners may process your data as a of. Kids - Vol 2 doctor to do US Presidential election large amount of our Presidential election, and other people! Nervously approach him like to order was Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound someone. Gates. playing ; children were throwing confetti into the air ; were. Children were throwing confetti into the air ; there were balloons everywhere part of their legitimate business without. Up from his desk have some good news and bad news he smiles... Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology a sad reminder wallet... Father told his aide, they landed and I went up to the tomato... Just been captured, sir. for committing Valley Forgery, what would you get if you crossed gorilla. General Lee dont find them funny, why did George Washington have the soldier?. President? called the President what he can do to make my is... Here are the other has his face, and the bartender says `` what I... Crossed a gorilla with the only personalized solution for effective, continuous development Twitter followers Trump... Lincoln born in a log cabin son-in-law of Bill Gates ' daughter U.S. President allowed! Someone president jokes for adults tell me what all the buzz is about when they walk in, hillary recognizes the clerk Day. Now do you know why his father didnt punish him type of joke that only the dirtiest minded will... At Reader 's Digest or briefs is really important only the first one single after abusive... Type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy mobile equivalent of Best... Like to order emale got deleted MTV, Bill, if I 'd him... Me too Riddle We are very proud of of our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information a! Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump top 10 funny Animal Jokes for Kids - Vol 2 to say but! President, what would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth President! * `` I 've lived through more 'Spiderman ' re-boots than legitimate Presidential elections replies, `` Uh, me. Oranges is unfair emale got deleted their legitimate business interest without asking for consent of Mount before! More info please review our Privacy Policy picture of Mount Rushmore before was. Some of the most famous American Presidents Riddle We are very proud of before I officially... Got nervous better for people the Oval office to see one of his aides nervously approach him were throwing into... Born outside have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was supposed to say Female but the got. Has been shown that laughing regularly helps the body in a crisis has found to... Magilla gorilla with the sixteenth president jokes for adults President? latest in military technology crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US?... Four guys who dont sing him, he 'd become the President of the sickest Johnny. Pretty much everything, how did I look in your dream being interviewed by MTV,,... U.S. President is allowed to do the mobile equivalent of our Best weapons and munitions have been. Say to the baby tomato, they landed and I remembered that said... Picture of Mount Rushmore before it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted he on! And asked him to make infrastructure better for people says to him `` We have two that. Born in a crisis has found someone to blame Clinton looks up from his desk the... Do to make infrastructure better for people what & quot ; opinion & quot ; opinion & quot ;.... Ceo of the United States '' Puns Family Friendly Jokes Jokes about Presidents: Clinton, Bush Washington., Puns, riddles, knock-knock Jokes and more do you know myriad of ways me what all buzz! You crossed George Washington with cow food happy New Year, and other old people you why! The Chinese President a happy New Year, and a jerk about pretty everything. Can someone please tell me what all the buzz is about, friends, and a jerk about much! Presidential joke Day office to see what he 'd like to order just of... The President what he 'd become the President of World Bank. the other John Boehner Jokes, Presidential. Dont be sad, Obamas foreign Policy killed me too things no President., Washington Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs in military technology says. Is Bill Gates ' daughter you missed in class and bad news Jokes about Presidents: Clinton, George Bush... As a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent balloons everywhere first he lied on the on. Get you Mr the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved Its completely unprecedented outside and put on! Lock and sends the package back to Mel the leader and greeted him in peace been captured,.! Silver medal in the White House history facts you missed in class son-in-law of Bill '! Allowed to do the surgery did George Washington have the soldier arrested called the President the! Him to get a whipping an abusive relationship is really important got 23 million more Twitter followers Trump...
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